If I have been out of touch, it is because the school year is in full swing, and I have barely enough energy to get ready for bed at 11 o’clock at night.
When I wasn’t at RUF events, I was meeting with students one on one. It has been great reconnecting with students from last year. I am bursting with excitement for the whole RUF ministry team’s enthusiasm for spontaneity and friendship. In this first week alone, we have had trips to the beach, groups gather to watch movies, and lots of snacks. I have been praying for this spirit of genuine friendship this year, and I hope this pattern continues.
This week has not been without its struggles. I mentioned in my email that a student told me this week that she has fallen deep into disbelief over the summer. I find myself suddenly face to face with the reality that people are all on their own journey, and I am only joining them for a short sprint. This is not unimportant, but I am also not necessary. I am here to love, not radically change someone’s life. Even if that does happen, I am not the point of the change.
The busyness of the semester lends to loneliness when my day off comes along. It is jarring to spend every hour of a week with others and then to have a whole day by myself to rest. This sounds great, and it is, but it can also encourage loneliness and self-pity. Learning to deal with my time off has been a struggle, and I am trying to develop good habits to encourage rest.
It is amazing to see God at work, even when he seems to be working in the opposite direction, which should make me consider how I am viewing my life and work. Am I seeking to feel fulfilled by how many people I interact with, or how many people hug me, or how many happy photos I can get, or how tired I am by the time I crawl into bed? When I use these as criteria, I find myself shaken when a student says they don’t believe, or they themselves feel hopeless, or they don’t know what they are doing in life. What would my life look like (what would my day of rest look like) if I secured my hope and joy in my hope for tomorrow, the already but not yet, instead of the reception I get here and now?
Lavished in Grace 